Haunting thoughts slash why I can't sleep:
What if I am supposed to be alone forever? What if that's what God has planned for me? Will I ever really be okay with that?
Do I want a husband and kids and... family more than I want God? Can't it be the same thing? Can't expressing my love for and towards other people be loving God and working through Him at the same time?
What if I die before I make a mark? What will be left? I have a slightly-forgotten, long list of things I want to do before I go. I want a family of my own. I want to write a book. Not in any particular order, but before I go up with Him.
I need to chill out and go to bed. Especially with so much going on tomorrow. And this week. On the bright side, I got roughly nothing done that I wanted to this weekend.
Fuck.
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